Nightcaps at the Theater

Episode 30: Clue

 

Tonight, on Nightcaps at the Theater, you are invited to the first film in our Madcap Marchness marathon. Arrive fashionably dressed, carrying a weapon, and with an appetite for monkey’s brains and MURDER! 1985’s unforgettable, quotable, comedy, classic Clue is the prime suspect behind uncontrollable fits of the giggles and we are Dead-set on solving this mystery. How many times must we run back and forth through the halls of this mansion? Is the number of bullets in this gun equal to 1+1+2+1+1? Who will look upstairs with us for “We are fwightend of ze dark?” One thing is certain you will be seeing Scarlet, or Plum, or … Mustard after this film myriad twists and turns. Ah yes, we see the “flames on the side of your face” …without further ado, let the game begin!

Tonight, on the Marquee:

• Hello, hello again, sh-boom and hopin' we'll meet again…with Clue.
• Madcap Marchness…Draft Picks
• Gotta Get a Theater Gimmick.
• Chutes and Ladders: The Movie
• Star Studded Murder Cast…Stepping in S*&t
• The Usefulness Imbalance of the Cluedo
• Matching up Matches.
• Using Dead Bodies as Props.
• Losing Too Many Singing Telegram Girls.
• Neon Evangelion Evangelist
• Going Home and Sleeping with Pizza Rating.

#BadCatholic and Shushing Babies in Church.

Jonathan Lynn’s Resume: My Cousin Vinny + Flops

“I’m Horny!”

Completely missing the Pun of Lee Ving’s name…

“Just Lies Around on His Back All Day…” – What Good Husbands Should Do.

“Are you hiding? I’m coming.”

“Take Your Hands Off Me! I’m a Senator’s Wife!”

“Flames on the Side of My Face.”

Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420

Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G 

Amuse-Bouche: March 9th 2019

“Amuse-Bouche” – March 9^th 2019

Tuck in,  there’s so much pop culture media to nosh on this week and only two hosts in house to eat it up. Mark is off saving the world, so it’s up to Matt and John to “Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out, Gotta get Home till the Morning Comes.” Wait? Did we say that already? Ah, well. Who Cares? In infinite time loops this podcast is still a blast. Enjoy this Amuse-Bouche a.k.a. “Silky Nutmeg Ganache” of T.V., Film, Theater, and Music before the main course of our first Madcap Marchness episode…what’s the definition of Hoosier? (It’s a person from Indiana btw)

Tonight, on the Marquee:

• T.V. Court – Russian Doll, RPDR S11, Game of Thrones, Mildred Pierce, NOS4A2, and The Act
• Movie Phone – Suspiria, From the Life of the Marionettes, The Hour of the Wolf, Sergei Bondarchuck’s War and Peace, Us, Pet Semetary, Cold Pursuit, Apollo 13, and How to Train Your Dragon 3: The Hidden World.
• Troddin the Boards – Glenn Close in Sunset Boulevard: The Musical: The Movie.
• Disc Jockeys – Harry Nillson, John Maus, Los Campesinos!, Love, Vampire Weekend, The National, Solange, Hozier, Synthetic Duck, Electric Bungalow, and Puke in a Sieve

Episode 29: Primer

 

What would you do if you could travel through time? Win the lottery? Invest in the stock market or electromagnetic reduction? On this episode of Nightcaps at the Theater we take a look at the “timeless” sci-fi classic, 2004’s Primer. Shane Carruth’s incredible filmmaking debut is brought to you (from a different grainier/rougher audio time period, it will all make sense, post listen) by all of those willing to probe their minds, and really think amidst intersecting timelines. Do you have your earpieces in? Will you be able to avoid your past selves to avoid a paradox? How could a Weeble enter and leave from side A? Who brings a gun to an ex’s party? All will be answered and more questions will emerge. Make sure to keep knocking them back, so you too can understand the unlimited, myriad, mysteries of time and space! (*Sound Issues may be a side effect of time travel.)

Tonight, on the Marquee:

• What’s in the Box? It’s the time travel thriller…Primer
• Sending a Shit month off with Miami Connection.
• Shane Carruth Director, Actor, Producer, Engineer, Flight Simulator Designer, Extraordinaire.
• The Loopy Timeline vs. Other Films.
• Goopy Space/Time Startup?
• Go Back in Time to Punch a Dick?
• Price is Right Primer
• Primer Secretly a Gay Porn? (Unzips Fly)
• The Butterfly Effect Wasn’t Good…
• Spelled Backward … R-E-G-E-T
• Building a Bigger Box.
• Intro to Madcap Marchness

“What kind of Fu&*kery is this?”

Jobs x Wozniack OGTM

Stein’s Gate or Meduka Meguca.

“I Can’t Believe Hot Tub Time Machine Didn’t Touch Upon this?”

“No one at Home Has Any Idea What’s Going On Right Now…”

“Dis Movie Deep Tho…”

Matt keeps on Winning.

Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420

Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key

Amuse-Bouche: February 23rd 2019

“Amuse-Bouche” – February 23^rd, 2019

We are back with (indiscriminate audio quality, sorry, we were drunk, its fixed, just pretend it was a Skype Call) this Amuse Bouche segment and it HAS IT ALL.  Join u as we recap all of the Elsa-Gates, being loud as Hell at the Bar on Saturday Nights, and the media you may have missed through the week. Sorry for the quality, but trust us, the content is well worth the wait. Celebrate being human with T.V., Movies, Theater, and Music…if you drink more we will sound so much better.

Tonight, on the Marquee:

• T.V. Court – Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Bigmouth - Valentine’s Day Special, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Arrested Development, Russian Doll, Rupaul’s Drag Race AS4, Project Runway, Broad City, At Home with Amy Sedaris, and Scenes from a Marriage.
• Movie Phone – Saraband, Pet Semetary, Child’s Play, Aladdin, Dumbo, Frozen 2, Velvet Buzz-saw, Isn’t it Romantic, Alita: Battle Angel, The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part, The Wandering Earth, and Snow Dogs???.
• Troddin the Boards – Mamma Mia, and A Raisin in the Sun.
• Disc Jockeys – The Grammy's…Good?, Brandi Carlile, Youssou N'Dour - 7 Seconds, LCD Soundsystem, Franz Ferdinand, Lizzo, Sharon Van Etten, Noname, Ariana Grande, Gary Clark Jr., and Edith Piaf.

 

Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420

Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G 

Episode 28: The Master of Disguise

Welcome to the new and improved, Nightcaps at the Theater. We are diving right into our first Critically Panneduary/So Bad it Hurts/Don’t Yuck My Yum Bad and we have no idea if we ever will look at movies the same way again. We piece together clues from our repressed youth’s subconscious and scream in maddening realization as we watch 2002’s The Master of Disguise. Pistachio Disguise (Yeah, you read that right) is on a mission to save his parents, find love, and become the true Master of Disguise. This film, if you can call it that, has it all. Bad, dated Dana Carvey impersonations. Sexism. A horrible, horrible, lack of humor. Don your Turtle Costume, and prepare your best/worst Tony Montana voice, you are going to need all your wits and sanity to make it through this movie. Afterwords, as you chant “Who’s Your Daddy?” rocking yourself back and forward, trying in vain to rid your mind of the Cherry Pie Man, remember this.  Become Another Person. Watch Another Movie! Become Another Person. Watch Another Movie!

Tonight, on the Marquee:

• Turtle…Turtle…For F*&k’s Sake TURTLE…it’s The Master of Disguise.
• New Format, New Us, Same Shitty Movies at
• An end to Critically Panneduary/So Bad it Hurts/Don’t Yuck My Yum. Locked Away in Our Minds for Years. 1000 Faces… and Not a Single Clue.
• “Ah, the Disguise Family…I Should Have Known!”
• Undoubtedly Will Be Mentioned in Mentioned in Dana Carvey’s Potential Suicide Note.
• Stolen From/By the Assassin’s Creed
• Corned Beef Ravioli, who want to shit themselves 24/7?
• Pistachio is Clearly an Ass Man.
• Offensive No Matter, Race, Religion, or Bottom Size.
• David Lynch’s Turtle Club.
• Scooby Doo is Computer Generated…NO, REALLY!
• Cherry Pie Man…Nightmare Fuel.

Razzie Nominee for Best Fart.

“In a Bathtub with a Toaster Somewhere Hopefully.” – Director Perry Andelin Blake Whereabouts.

“That’s Not Ann Dowd or Richard Dreyfuss!” – We Are Drunk.

Energico Made Me Do It! – Rosanne Wishes.

“Hey Pistachio, Check This Out, There’s a Talking Baby Out Here!” – Greatest Line.

“My Tiny Blue Sweater!”

“HOW LONG ARE THESE F&*CKING CREDITS?!?”

Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420

Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key

Amuse-Bouche: February 2nd 2019

 

“Amuse-Bouche” – Episode 01 – February 2^nd 2019

You all asked (in our imaginations) and we here at Nightcaps listened. Have you ever thought “Gee, I love the film commentary these three goobers offer, but I would love it even more in a shorter podcast format, so I can catch up and watch the movie, that these folks are talking about.” Well, have we got a surprise for you! From this point forward, we will be dividing our pop culture segments and movie reviews into two separate episodes. That’s the same amount of episode with technically more effort. In this way, you can keep up to date with Movie News, T.V. Obsessions, Theater Talk, Music Recommendations, and Casual (Oftentimes, drunken and delusional) Witty Banter. Haven’t seen the movie we are going to talk about, but can’t live without those confounded Nightcaps bois? No Problem. Just pick up the movie episode when you get that craving for something to go down real smooth. Welcome to “Amuse-Bouche.” Oh, and don’t worry we got you covered on that good, good, mouth feel….so sit back and listen.

Tonight, on the Marquee:

• T.V. Court – Hot Wings with Sean Evans, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Great News, Russian Doll
• Movie Phone – Velvet Buzzsaw, The Autopsy of Jane Doe, Ideal Home, Stan and Ollie, How to Train Your Dragon 2, Aquaman, Polar/Arctic, Glass Mini Review, and Black Batman.
• Troddin the Boards – Rent: Live?, Groundhog Day, Hair, Shrek: The Musical, Proof, Biloxi Blues
• Disc Jockeys – Arctic Monkeys/The Black Keys, Vampire Weekend, Lizzo – Stayin Alive

Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420

Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G 

Episode 27: Moulin Rouge!

“Spectacular! Spectacular!” … These words aren’t in this film’s vernacular. Drinks aplenty don this event, you’ll be dumb…and that’s pretty much it. We continue our Critically Panneduary/So Bad it Hurts/Don’t Yuck My Yum marathon with Baz Luhrmann’s 2001 musical monstrosity Moulin Rouge! This film will have your head spinning, as if you had just chugged a bathtub of absinthe...we think Baz might have while he was directing. Follow the green fairy, and join the Children of the Revolution. Here at Nightcaps, we stand for all things Bohemian: Freedom, Beauty, Truth, Love, and Booze. This is a tale of sparkling diamonds, penniless sitar players, music that no one should ever have the rights to, really obvious coughing, and furious editing. Prepare to belt out your best love ballads from the top of Lucy the Elephant, just watch out for that opera singing moon and remember this lesson. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…is just to drink and share a bad movie in return.”

Tonight, on the Marquee:

• Outside it may be raining, but in here its entertaining! At the Moulin Rouge We have fun!
• V. Court – The Ted Bundy Tapes, Re: Mind, Carmen Sandiego, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Broad City, Rupaul’s Drag Race AS4 + S11, The Good Place, Steven Universe, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Scrubs, True Detective, You’re the Worst, Good Omens, American Gods, and NOS4A2
• Movie Phone – The How to Train Your Dragon Series, Free Solo, Split, The Kid Who Would Be King, A Lesson in Love, Spirited Away, The Devil All the Time, Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, Fyre, Glass, and Snow Dogs?
• Troddin the Boards – Mamma Mia, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, To Kill A Mockingbird, Alice By Heart, and Rent: Live.
• Disc Jockeys – Sharon Van Etten – Remind Me Tomorrow, Toro y Moi, James Blake, Wheezer, Bring Me the Horizon, Ariana Grande: 7 Rings, Miley Cyrus/Mark Ronson: Nothing Breaks Like A Heart, and Rex Orange County
• John Leguizamo as Toulouse, a dwarf, with a lisp, who is a magical sitar…that tells the Truth.
• Saltine…(cough) Satine the “Sparkling Diamond” or “Living Loony Tune.”
• Italian Opera Moon ™
• Chocolat: MVP
• How I Met “Cwistian.”
• Very Obviously Dying from TB!

Avengers Unbreakable: Krakowski, Kane, and Sedaris.

“Shrek 3 …Wasn’t that Bad.” – Off the Record.

 “How the Hell you gonna climb that damn mountain?!?!” Viola Davis in Free Solo.

 “Bitch u a 7! I need a 10!” – Telling off Ted Bundy.

 “She’s CONFESSSSSSIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!” – Jim Broadbent: Saving Grace.

 “ROXANNE!” – Tom Waits/Louie Armstrong Uncredited Role.

 Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420

Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G 

Episode 26: Miami Connection

 

Somewhere in Miami there’s a world of Taekwondo, cocaine, and ninja motorcycle gangs. In the lost 1987 “gem” Miami Connection director, actor, and grandmaster Y.K. Kim teaches the audience the pain and power that consumes your being when your body is one of the most dangerous weapons in the world. Dragon Sound, a rock band made up of only the goodest boys is the talk of the town. Unfortunately, the hundreds of gangs that make up the seedy underbelly of Miami/Orlando/Wherever want to take them down. There’s bound to be a fight or two, (as to if they are well shot…we here at Nightcaps leave that to you) some passionate romance, lost fathers, and a few engrossing training montages on this adventure. If you think yourself ready to “Go Against the Ninja” then pick up a katana and a slice of pizza…prepare yourself this movie is like no other!

Tonight, on the Marquee:

• The “plot” of Miami Connection.
• So Bad…it’s Critically Panned…My Yum?
• V. Court – Watership Down, RPDR ASR, The Great British Bake Off, Derry Girls, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Happy, Erased, True Detective, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Place, You’re the Worst
• Movie Phone – As Above So Below, Green Room, Murder Room, Summer with Monika, Dreams, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, Bumblebee, Mary Poppins Returns, and Snow Dogs?
• Troddin the Boards – To Kill a Mockingbird, Hadestown, Daniel Fish’s Oklahoma!, Starkids’ The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals, and an in-depth King Kong
• Disc Jockeys – Indie Harpists Mary Lattimore/Joanna Newsom, Kurt Vile’s Bottle it In, The 1975 – A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships, Lizzo’s “Juice”, and Houses’ “Fast Talk”
• The Journey to the West/Lost Akira Kurosawa “Masterpiece” that is Miami Connection.
• Dragon Sound…the World’s GREATEST BAND!
• A Gunfight/Ninja Massacre over some Ramen Cocaine.
• John, Jeff, Jim, Jake, Jane…What Creative Names…and Backstories?
• These Gangs…Kinda Suck at Fighting.
• The YMCA of Adult Semi-Nude ”Orpins.”
• B-Roll Footage of Beach Babes, Bikers, and Cops.
• Training or Practicing Falling?
• Salami
• Florida Swamp Rumble Fatalities
• Sometimes Violence is the Most Peaceful Option

Media of a Certain Color. – Welcome to So Bad it Hurts, Critically Panneduary, “Don’t Yuck My Yum!?!”, or F*&k You It’s $%^uary!

“I’m a big supporter of these stupid films…” – Mark on the Transformers series.

“She’s back?!?! Get the Gun! Aim for the Umbrella!” – Miss Mary Poppins is Back Bitches! Supercalifragiliciousiridocyclitis!

“Y.K. Kim the Yoda of our time.” – “Sploogin his art…”

The Stealthiest Form of Ninja Travel … Motorcycle Gang!”

“It’s Either this or Porn…” – Every Actor in this Movie.

“GIVE ME THE DAMN LETTER!” – Masterclass Acting

“Ain’t Seen No one since 1962.” – WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS MOVIE?!?

“I Found My Father!” – That’s a Mailbox Jim.

 

Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420

Music: "Four Way" Provided By: William Ross Chernoff's Nomads

Episode 25: 2018 Last Call

 

Can you believe its been a year for Nightcaps at the Theater already?!? “It’s been a while” and what a year for movies and television 2018 was! Join us as we recap the year through the highs and lows of this magnificent year in movies, all while prepping for the months to come in the 2019. It's Last Call! Pour One Out with us for the visual media that had you wishing that you were drunk while watching. Next, prepare to Knock Some Back and revel in boozy splendor over the films and television that had us drunk dancing in our seats. Finally, we look forward into 2019 full of anticipation. What exactly are we looking forward too? Well, you will just have to Make It A Double and find out.! Thank you for sticking with our podcast for a year and for any new listeners out there...Welcome! No better time to rate, review, listen, or subscribe, than right now!  We are always happy to have a few new friends to pull up a stool next to us at the bar, share a few drinks, and start a conversation all about movies.

Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420

Music: "Four Way" Provided By: William Ross Chernoff's Nomads

Episode 24: Snow Day

There’s been a drop in barometric pressure that only 90s kids will truly understand. Cancel all plans, don’t go to work, and there can’t possibly be any school today because we at Nightcaps at the Theater are listening to Nickelodeon Studio’s 2000 pre-teen comedy Snow Day.  The holidays have come at last, just in time to see Chevy Chase white-knuckle it through this film filled to the brim with murderous children with far too much time on their hands, teenage romance, disgruntled weather men, stressed business moms, Iggy Pop ice rinks and more! The nostalgia is strong with this one, but give us a listen, and decide for yourself if you still side with your inner child, or the disgruntled Snow Plan Man. We know you love whales so we dug out this snow bank in the shape of one… What do you mean you like zebras?!?!

Tonight, on the Marquee:

• Holiday Woes, Fart Sounds, Snownuts, and more during this Snow Day.
• V. Court – Erased, Rupaul’s Drag Race, All Stars: Season 4, Big British Bake Off, Watership Down, Deal or No Deal, and Jackie Fox of The Runaways on Jeopardy
• Movie Phone – A Shoe Addict’s Christmas, A Christmas Prince, Hallmark Movies, The Clovehitch Killer, Icarus, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Wild Strawberries, To Joy, Summer Interlude, Meet Me Saint Louis, It’s a Wonderful Life, Gremlins, Bird Box, Nerve, Aquaman Rant, Shazam! and Spiderman Enter the Spiderverse.
• Troddin the Boards – Company and Mamma Mia.
• Disc Jockeys – Toto’s Africa by Pitbull, Kingdom Hearts Discography Hikaru Utada/Yoko Shimomura/Skrillex, Fat Daddy, and A John Water’s Christmas.
• Fart Noise…. It’s a Snow Day.
• Snow as a Deity. All Hail the Being of Snow! These Kids are Murders!
• Wish Upon Snow Day Thinner Rules of Magic/Demonology.
• Millennial Fat Shaming? Amanda Please!
• Why is Iggy Pop at a Snow Rink in a Neck Brace?
• Snow Angel Analogies Gone Wrong.

Avengers: Christmas Hallmark Movie: Civil War

“Never Meet Your Idols…Stephen King Lied to Me!” – Don’t Watch Bird Box.

Aquaman/Battlefield Earth: Part II + “Welcome to the Stage Jason Samoa.”

“Did Somebody Ring the Dinkster?!?!?”

“Was That a Fart Sound?” – Secret Phrase of the Film.

Unadopted Minors. Stuck In an Orphanage. Please Adopt Us! – Snow Day Sequel

“Step 1: Kill Snow Plow Man. Step:2 Profit, Step 3: Snow Day Part II!” – The Perfect Plan.

 

Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420

Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G